


niggas don’t play cupid, stupid

by lesbianbey



Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Matchmaking, M/M, Some one sided boo boo/napoleon, boo boo is a sweetie, dizzee and ra are bad bros, not really - Freeform, two pretentious niggas sitting on a tree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 16:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14336154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianbey/pseuds/lesbianbey
Summary: Boo Boo Kipling ain’t a matchmaker, but he's a man with a plan.





	niggas don’t play cupid, stupid

**Author's Note:**

> Wooooooooooow it's been a while omfg! I haven’t had a self prompt like this but god I was writing a life is strange series when this came to me and it's slightly messy but I’m uhhhhhh apologetique
> 
> as far as my other series is going, I might revisit it someday but like, don’t have high hopes.

"Cardi is aight, but she will _never_ be better than Nicki. Those are facts."

"Cardi has that X-factor, man."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, nigga? All I know is that Onika has better flow, better lyrics, and better features...whereas crooked teeth lookin' ass Belcalis can only do mumble rap and triples. She might sound good but—"

"What you _not_ gonna do is—"

"Let's be honest though. Nicki got her fame through blood sweat and tears. Cardi had to get her fame because of Love and Hip Hop."

"Something you _still_ watch!"

"Can both y'all niggas shut the fuck up? You can like both of 'em for fuck's sake!"

Dizzee and Shao glare at Boo. "Shut up, Boo. Anyways, if Miss Belcalis can rap without doing triples in every song, then I'm sold. Otherwise, keep her away from our Spotify playlists," Shao demands.

"Ew, we still using Spotify?" Boo recoils.

"Once again, shut up," Shao replies.

"This is as irrelevant as the time y'all argued about the Migos and Bone Thugs," Boo says, making both his brother and his friend glare at him again. "They are incomparable, my niggas. Both of them have different flow, and come from different eras of rap. Now, if you were to separate the Migos, Takeoff is the real backbone of the Migos."

Shao sucks his teeth. "Takeoff wasn't even in Bad and Boujee."

"Doitlooklikehewasleftoffbadandboujee?"

Shao sneers at Boo. "Imma kill you." He gets up and dusts off his outfit. "Anyways, if you two have nothing else to offer me, I got a job to do and it isn't entertaining both of you's horrid taste in music."

"It isn't our fault your dumb ass won't let go of nineties rap," Boo yells out as Shao leaves the apartment. Shao only gives him the finger before shutting the door. "Fuck. Dizzee, your friend needs a boyfriend."

"I'm more surprised that you figured out he ain't straight."

"One, _no_ nigga wears a mesh shirt in the dead of February unless he looking for some dick or to catch influenza. Two, I'm bi. Remember?"

Dizzee rolls his eyes. "Got any ideas, ol' matchmaker one?"

"You're the matchmaker in this household, and I might have an idea. You know that redbone nigga who hangs out with Ra?"

"You mean Zeke?" Dizzee questions. "I don't know man. He has a girlfriend last time I checked."

"Nah," Boo shakes his head. "Yolanda dating her now. Damn, you out of touch."

"Sorry if I'm too busy with art school to worry about my siblings' love life," Dizzee shrugs. "Speaking of, update on trying to woo your crush of the week?"

"Napoleon is _not_ the crush of the week! He's my future boyfriend. Issa fact, and a fact only."

Dizzee laughs. "Ok. But if you wanna meddle into my best friend's life, go right ahead. He might kill you for it though."

"If he kill me, y'all gonna kill him to avenge my death right?"

"Nah. You watch too much anime."

* * *

 

Sadly, Boo Boo Kipling doesn't really know much about matchmaking. He's seen his brother do it but aside from that, he's at a damn loss. How do people even do that? How do you bring one extra ass old soul and a dramatic ass astrology nigga together? Would Ra even like the idea of inviting his friend out at the same time Boo is dragging Shaolin from his job to meet up with some nigga for an impromptu blind date? The answer is probably no.

For the years he's known Shao, he hates surprises and blind dates. One time, Dizzee set him up on a date with some white guy Thor knew and it all went to shit. Needless to say, Shao didn't talk to Dizz for a week. But, he'll be damned to let that nigga keep arguing with Dizzee about music taste and other dumb shit, like graffiti art versus Baroque art. He knocks on Ra's door, and walks right in after he gets the ok. "'Sup brother?"

Ra-Ra puts down his Black Panther comic book and raises an eyebrow. "What do you want?"

"Damn, what makes you think I want somethin' from your skinny ass?"

"Because you never call me brother."

"Come on, Ra! Can I just say hello to my _favorite_ brother?"

Ra snorts. "Spit it out, Boo. You have a time limit."

Damn, Boo thinks. "So, you know your friend? The one you always hang out with?"

"Boo, you met Zeke several times."

"Yeah, that nigga. How he feel about niggas?"

Ra can't hold in his laughter. "Oh, my god. Don't tell me you have a crush on him."

"I don't? I like my niggas shorter than me," Boo defends. "I'm just asking."

Ra decides to close his comic book. This might take a while. "If you must know, I don't know if he even swings both ways. Why, can you tell?"

"Sadly no. I don't know him well enough to. But I was thinking of setting Dizz's best friend up and Ezekiel is one of the very few contenders right now. I mean, he seems like the pretentious type."

Ra snorts. "Yeah, Zeke is _hella_ pretentious. Wait, you talking about Shao? Is he even—"

"Yes nigga, he's gay. Otherwise I wouldn't think about doing this." Boo fiddles with his thumbs. "Maybe I can play matchmaker since V-day's coming up and I'm tired of him arguing with Dizz over trivial shit. He probably needs some action."

"Good luck with that, young Jedi," Ra snorts again.

Boo growls. Ra is of no help right now. "Maybe you can invite him to that thing we got for V-day."

"He's already coming, doofus. Ask your friend to come and maybe you won't get killed slowly if things go well. No telling who's gonna kill you though."

"Oh yeah? Watch and learn, li'l nigga, I'mma have both Ezekiel Figuero and Curtis Caldwell fuckin' by this weekend. And they most def gonna thank ya boy."

"Big dreams for such a little boy," Ra chastises.

"Imma kick you in your fucking throat."

* * *

 

"No."

Boo sighs loudly. "Come on, Shao. You always workin'."

"Because I gotta make my money," Shao explains. "How else I'm gonna make money? I'm not pushing dope anymore so now I have a less than flexible schedule at my job. Anyway, why you inviting me to your kiddie mixer?"

"It"s not a kiddie mixer. It's a fucking house party."

"Kiddie mixer," Shao says firmly. "Sorry, but I would rather die than to entertain a bunch of high schoolers."

"Shut up. You're still in high school, nigga. And it's gonna be hella fun. You can probably meet a few ladies along the way."

Shao laughs. "Ladies. You know I bat for the other team, Miles."

"Ok. _Niggas_. You might meet a few _niggas_ along the way," Boo clarifies.

"You do know I once didn't talk to Dizz for a week because he set me up with a white boy."

"This is the South Bronx, Shaolin. No white nigga is gonna show up over here after six. They don't get any lighter than coffee with creamer 'round here."

Shao bites his lip to contain his laughter. "Ok. Fine. I'll show up. But, if you set me up with some ugly nigga Imma slice you up." Boo just rubs his hands together and smirks. If things go well, he will surely show both of his brothers right.

* * *

 

Shao was right. This is a kiddie mixer compared to the other house parties he been to. However, Shao came through and he already called out of work to show up so he might as well get his fun's worth. Dizz already disappeared to find his white boyfriend and last time he heard from Boo, there was a really adorable Latino that Boo has googly eyes for and decides to shoot his shot tonight. So Shao is basically alone in an unknown home, wondering why his friends bought him here.

"Yo, Shao." He turns around and finds Boo with some other nigga who is light skinned and has a bit of a gap when he grins at a girl passing by, walking with Dizz's little sister Yolanda. Shao approaches Boo, with a bit of a sneer. "Meet my friend Zeke."

"We're not friends," Zeke says through gritted teeth.

"Shut your lite brite ass up and go with it nigga," Boo replies.

Shao raises an eyebrow and stares at Boo. He should've known there was a blind hookup thing going on...but at least he ain't half bad. Actually, he's really cute. He smirks flirtatiously and pushes Boo out the way, ignoring his loud protests despite the heavy bass of some song playing on the speakers. "What's good?"

"You tryin' too hard," Zeke says, making Shao frown.

"Well damn. You just messed up my whole ass mojo."

"You had none to begin with," Boo mumbles.

Shao glares at him. "Shouldn't you be talking to that adorable nigga you was droolin' over?"

Now it's Boo's turn to frown. "You ain't shit, Curtis. You ain't shit."

Shao rolls his eyes and looks at Zeke again. "Sorry for the distraction."

"Your name Curtis?"

"Yeah but I go by Shaolin Fantastic, lady killin' romantic."

Zeke couldn't help but smirk. "You're cute." Shao is so thankful he isn't light skinned because he would've turned red from that smirk alone. Damn, this redbone nigga got him, like really got him, because he's at a loss for words. "What's wrong, Shaolin? Loss for words?"

"No?"

Zeke shakes his head, his smirk never faltering. "You talk a whole lotta shit for someone who gets tongue tied when someone compliments him once. Sounds like a fire sign."

"Certified Sagittarius sun," Shao shrugs.

"There it is. That's why I like you so much." He relaxes on the wall a little more. "You even say it like you talk about it constantly."

"I do. And lemme guess yours...hm, Capricorn?"

"God no. I would've killed myself already."

Shao shakes his head. "Kidding. Cancer."

"Yep." The song changes to another trap one, making both guys groan. "I swear. No one appreciates the classics anymore. It's all about that damn mumble rap."

"I hate it," Shao agrees. "Like, what are you doing with this type of music?"

"That." Shao watches Boo moving his head to the side with the beat. "They catch you with a catchy beat and some catchy flow. They don't know what they talking about."

"I'm over this party. You?"

Zeke wags his eyebrows and pulls Shao out of the house.

* * *

 

Shao pulls out his phone and plays a Nas Spotify playlist he made last week while Zeke lights up a carefully rolled joint. "That's _definitely_ appropriate smoking music," Zeke says sarcastically.

"What? I like him!"

"I love him too. That wasn't my point tho." Zeke inhales, and passes it over to Shao before exhaling. "What's one recent person in the music industry you don't hate?"

"Aside from Miss Queen Bey?"

"Everybody likes Beyoncé, Shao. Issa given."

"Facts only." Shao inhales the joint, missing the familiar stench of weed after weeks of not being able to get any, what with his job's recent drug test. "I would say...Nicki. She's the only good rapper from the 2010s."

Zeke scrunches his face. "I don't know. Kendrick ain't that bad."

"DAMN. was pretty good, not gonna lie."

"It's his best so far. Although, I'm expecting that Black Panther soundtrack to sound good too. You like comics?"

"Hell yeah. Love comics. I'm waiting for that movie to come out too."

"I got an extra ticket if you wanna come through. Ra was gonna come with me but he asked his girl and I'm not looking to be a third wheel."

Shao smirks. "Already shooting your shot?"

"You already did, genius," Zeke responds, with a smirk of his own. "And it worked, didn't it? You got my attention."

"Yeah, I guess it did." And for some weird reason, he has Boo to thank. Even though he won't let that nigga have it just yet.

Shao watches Zeke snatch the still lit joint from his fingers and breathe in a considerable amount of smoke. "Come here."

Shao knows where this is going. He leans in and let's Zeke exhale the smoke into his mouth. He inhales it as quickly as he can, then he moves to the side and exhales it, the smoke almost invisible. He hasn't done that in so long, and when he does, it usually leads to a makeout session. It's always a nice little trick. Shao glances at Zeke, who has his eyes half lidded and takes another long inhale of smoke. "My turn." Shao takes the joint, and inhales as much as he can and carefully places a couple fingers on Zeke's chin when Zeke leans in. He breathes the smoke out while Zeke inhales it al in. He blows it out in Shao's face instead, giving him a look.

Then Zeke leans in again and closes the gap between them.

Shao reacts just as quickly, kissing back with just as much eagerness. He could dial it back some, but it's been a while since he got any action, and hey, if Zeke's offerin'...

His Spotify playlist is simply forgotten.

* * *

 

The next day, Shao shows up at the apartment with a messy grin on his face. "Nigga, I was looking for you all night last night!" Boo exclaims. "Where did you and Zeke go anyway?"

"We got over the shitty mumble rap and just hung out."

Boo narrows his eyes. "I knew both of y'all would hit it off over the hatred of mumble rap. So what else you did?"

"Nothing! Did you shoot your shot with the little nigga you was droolin' over?" Boo grumbles something unintelligible. "What was that, Miles?"

"I caught him kissing some bitch," he repeats even clearer.

"Awww, it's ok sweetie," Shao jokes, rubbing Boo's hair with his knuckles.

"Die," Boo growls. "I was pissed the entire night, but at least Carmelita came through."

"Ew."

"Hey, it's the best of both worlds. So did I successfully get you a date or what? Because Dizz and Ra been blowin' mines all morning about this shit."

Shao breaks out in a wicked grin. "You know what, you gonna have to find out for yourself. Let those niggas think you didn't succeed pretending to play Cupid."

"In other words, yes," Boo smirks. "Well, go 'head and get you some redbone ass, nigga."

"You a dumbass, Boo. But, deadass, good lookin' out. Now if your ass stops playing games, you would've succeeded in getting to know your crush of the week."

Boo frowns deeply while Shao heads to the front door. "And now it's ruined. Go to hell, Curtis Caldwell."

"Love you too, nigga!"


End file.
